别让任何人控制你

He threw a violent punch with the intention of knocking me into next week!

When he rushed at me, he threw a violent punch aimed square at my head — if it connected, it had the potential of knocking me into next week — but I ducked and jumped through his legs (he was a huge guy) and came up in back of him. I then leaped on his back and started hitting him on the side of his head and neck. He did everything he could to throw me off. He banged his back (and me) into a wall and threw himself backwards into the barrack's floor. Inspite all of this, I hung on for dear life and kept hitting him as hard and often as I possibly could. He howled and unleashed a string of obscenitites. Then the rest of the guys jumped in and pulled us apart.

After being pulled apart he tried a few more times to get at me, but between me making it a point to stay well clear of him and the others jumping in to restrain him, he didn’t get his hands on me. Then the others reminded him that the drill instructor would return shortly, and it was his fear of the drill instructor's arrival that finally calmed him down.

The bully never bothered me again.

He pointed at me and said he was going to beat me to death when he got the chance. In turn, I looked him straight in the eye and told him to leave me alone. From that day forward he never bothered me again. The lesson I learned from this was a simple but valuable one. The moment anyone attacks you in anyway, and you are not able to defuse the situation or walk away, you must stand up for yourself.

Fighting should always be a last resort. It’s much better to walk away.

There are caveats to this rule of mine, of course. If I ever encounter someone who is rude, obnoxious or who somehow threatens me, absolutely the last thing I want to do is fight. I would only fight if there is no other option. It’s much better to swallow my pride, walk away and avoid confrontation at all costs. If there is a personal threat and it is significant, it is best to let the police handle the situation.

In similar fashion, when I’m driving and someone for whatever reason “cuts me off” or does something dumb, I never become upset and blow the horn. I may shake my head in disbelief, but that’s as far as it goes. If another driver becomes upset with me and “gives me the finger,” or makes some other unpleasant gesture aimed at me, I never respond. I know that it’s much better — for both of us — to simply let the situation go.

Once I had to take on the USGA.

I learned how important it is to stand up to bullies many times in business. One example that immediately comes to mind happened when I owned Parsons Technology and was unfairly challenged by the United States Golf Association (“USGA”).

The disagreement was over a golf software program.

Back then I was an avid golfer, so I had my staff write a software program that let individuals compute their golf handicap. I approached Golf Digest (a well known golf magazine) and was able to strike a deal where our program was marketed using their name. I called the program “Golf Digest’s ScoreCard for Windows.”

The USGA demanded that we substantially modify the program.

Upon learning of the program, the USGA became furious and sent us a letter stating we were violating their trademarks. They insisted that we modify the software so that it did not compute a handicap and no longer referred to several of their trademarks. Our earlier research indicated that what we were doing was, in fact legal because the way in which we were doing so was considered a “fair use” under the law.

The USGA showed me that they were indeed a corporate bully.

When we contacted the USGA and talked to their General Counsel we were surprised at the response. They said that they didn’t care what our research showed. If we went ahead with the program, they would sue us nevertheless. So they knew we had a right to use the trademarks but thought that since we were a small company and they (the “USGA”) were huge, they could bully us and get us to shrink away from a very expensive fight – one they could easily afford, but one that would tax our resources.

I was left with no choice.

The modifications the USGA wanted, if I complied with their demands, would leave my software program with diminished appeal. So I was indeed backed into a corner. Since I knew that what I was doing was right under the eyes of the law, I decided to stand up to them.

I immediately filed for a declaratory judgment.

There is a procedural mechanism known as a "declaratory judgment" through which a court determines the rights of parties without actually ordering anything be done or awarding any damages. This allows a party to nip controversies in the bud before getting into full-blown litigation. Simply put, if the court decides in your favor, the threat becomes moot. So I got together with my law firm, and immediately filed for a declaratory judgment.

The USGA backed off and my interests were protected.

Realizing they were going to be beaten at their own game, they agreed to let us go ahead with the ScoreCard program and use the trademarks. In essence, they allowed us to do what we were already legally permitted to do. We signed an agreement that there would be no further legal activity with respect to the program and our filing was withdrawn.

I fought because the USGA gave me no other option.

For the remainder of the time that I owned Parsons Technology and for a while afterward, we successfully sold the “Golf ScoreCard” program. This was only possible because I stood up to a huge corporate bully. Had I not stood up to the USGA, the deal I worked so hard to get with Golf Digest, and the hundreds of thousands of dollars I invested to develop the software program would have all gone for naught. The USGA gave me no option but to stand up and fight them, and fight them I did.

I have had to fight corporate bullies many times.

Since the episode with the USGA I’ve since been confronted by other corporate bullies whose actions threatened to damage me in one way or another. Each time I’ve tried to defuse the situation without a fight. A few times I’ve been successful in getting a bully to back off, or have been able to modify what I’ve been doing so that there is no longer an issue. Several other times, however, I’ve had to take legal action to defend my interests. I’m happy to tell you that each and every time I have been successful.

Only fight battles you can win.

It's important to never enter a fight unless you are reasonably certain that the law is on your side. Long ago, I was twice accused of trademark infringement and subsequent research showed that the accusations were not without validity. In one case I reached an amicable resolution with the complaining party and modified my trademark. In the other case I simply abandoned the trademark. In business it never makes sense to enter a fight you probably won't win. If I feel the law is on my side however, I always stand up for my rights. Also I learned to do a much better job of investigating potential trademarks before I use them.

Never let anyone push you around.

So my advice to you is simply this: Never let anyone push you around. First, try to defuse the situation. If you can’t do that, stand up and defend yourself.

引子：

　　流氓有各式各样，许多是以公司的形式出现……我父亲教我如何与他们周旋……文中会提到两个典型的例子……

正文：

　　父亲教导我说，不要让任何人控制我。

　　自从记事时候起，我便经常遇到流氓，并且总是自己保护自己。我父亲——我无比怀念的父亲——教导我说，不要让任何人、任何事情控制我。他对我说，一个人如果不作反抗便会被压倒，事态会变得更糟。后来我发现，这道理不仅适用于个人生活，同样适用于商业活动。

　　在海军陆战队新兵训练营，与一个流氓周旋。

　　1968年在巴黎岛的海军陆战队新兵训练营里，我学到了一个对付流氓的方法。我们排里有一个“老字号”流氓，他非常残忍，是一个肌肉发达的蠢家伙。他周围的人都非常怕他，大多数新兵在第一次被他欺负的时候，都是忍气吞声的，而他们以后则不断地受到他的折磨。

　　我一拳打在他的下巴上，他看了看我。

　　一天，这个魔鬼（我已经忘了他的名字）和我以及另外几个人回营房打扫卫生。一回到营房，他便对我推推搡搡，还拍了一下我的后脑勺。我知道如果我不敢面对他，我将成为又一个被他欺负的倒霉鬼，于是我转过身，用尽所有的力量，一拳打在他的下巴上。我本以为他会倒下去，可是他仍然站在那里，他有一些吃惊，然后他恼火地看着我，说他要杀了我。

　　我奋力跳到他的背上！

　　当他冲向我的时候，我一低头，从他的两腿之间穿了过去，站在他背后。接着我跳到他的背上，猛敲他的头。他拼命想把我甩下来。他把自己的背部往墙上猛撞，可是我就是不下来，我不停地敲打他的头。他发疯般狂叫着，另外几个人跑了过来，好不容易才把我们分开。

　　被拉开之后，他还想找我拼命。但是我低头跑开了，而那几个人也站在我们中间阻止他，所以他的拳头没办法再打在我的身上。有人说教官马上要来了，他也便不敢再造次，慢慢安静了下来。

　　这流氓再也没找过我的麻烦。

　　他指着我说，一旦有机会，他会弄死我的。而我则警告他，最好离我远点。从那天起，他再也没找过我的麻烦。这个教训虽然简单，但是对我来说却非常有意义：不管有谁用何种方法来攻击你，你都不能妥协或者逃跑，你必须站起来捍卫自己。

　　战斗应该是最后一招，最好是走开。

　　我之所以这么说，当然有我自己的道理。当我遇到粗鲁的人、令我不快的人，或者是威胁我的人，不到最后一刻，我决不跟他发生战斗。只有在别无选择时，我才会选择战斗。明智的做法就是收回自己的骄傲，走开，极力避免正面冲突。如果你遇到了非常严重的人身威胁，最好的方法就是让警察来处理它。

　　类似情况如，当我开车走在路上，而某个人因为某种原因堵了我的路。我从来不会气急败坏地按喇叭。我只会摇摇头，等待道路再次畅通。同样，如果我堵了别人的路，而那司机对我“伸手指”或者对我做出别的什么让人不快的动作，我从不回应。我知道，还是顺其自然比较好。

　　想起USGA

　　我在生意场上多次领教过这个教训。有一件事情突然浮现在我的心里。我在掌管帕森工程时，曾经遇到过美国高尔夫球协会（USGA）很不公平的挑衅。

　　争执源自一款高尔夫软件

　　那时候我痴迷于高尔夫，我让我的员工编了一款程序，人们可以根据这款程序预算他们的高尔夫让步赛。我跟《高尔夫文摘》联系，并谈妥将我们的程序冠以他们的名字。我把这个程序称为“windows版高尔夫文摘记分卡”。

　　USGA声称我们必须彻底修改这个程序。
　　听说了这个程序后，USGA非常恼火，给我来了一个函，说我们侵犯了他们的商标权。他们坚持要我们修改这个软件，使它不能再计算让步赛，也不再提及他们的某些商标。这之前，我们的研究其实是合法的，因为我们的做法在法律中属于“合理的利用”。

　　USGA的所作所为让我觉得他们是一个不折不扣的流氓团伙。

　　我们和USGA联系上了，在和他们的律师对上话之后，我们对他们的回答感到无比惊讶。他们说，他们可不管我们的研究说明了什么。如果我们继续这个程序的开发，他们将会起诉我们。尽管他们知道我们有权使用他们的商标，可是，他们觉得我们不过是一个小公司，而他们（USGA）则是一个巨型公司，因此他们可以肆意欺负我们，让我们从这场代价高昂的战斗中退出——他们觉得这场战斗他们可以轻易避免，而且即使打起来，结果只会是我们损失惨重。

　　我立刻申请了“宣告式判决”。

　　法律上有个程序叫“宣告式判决”，通过它，一个法庭可以确认当事人之间的权益关系，而不要求强制执行某种东西或者赔偿任何损失。它允许一方将争执消灭于萌芽状态，避免诉讼行为的发生。如果法庭站在你这边，事态就会变得明朗。

　　USGA撤退了，我的权益得到了保护。

　　意识到他们的鬼把戏会害到他们自己时，他们同意让我们继续我们的“记分卡”项目，也同意我们使用那些商标。实际上，他们允许我们做的事情，本来就是法律所许可的。我们达成了一个协议，保证不会再因这个程序而产生任何法律纠葛，然后我们收回了诉讼。

　　我战斗了，因为USGA让我别无选择。

　　在主管帕森工程的剩下的时间内，以及稍后的一段时间内，我们成功地卖出了“高尔夫记分卡”。如果我没有与那巨型集团对抗，这种事情根本不可能实现。如果我没有跟USGA对抗，那么我在《高尔夫文摘》身上花费的这么多的心血,以及我在这个软件工程上所投入的巨额成本，都将化为乌有。USGA让我别无选择，我只有站起来跟他们对抗。

　　我不得不一再跟流氓公司发生战斗。

　　USGA事件只是一个序曲，之后，我又跟许多别的流氓公司发生了冲突。因为他们的行为对我造成了这样那样的威胁。每一次，我都想方设法缓和事态，极力避免以战斗的方式解决问题。有几次，我成功地令一个流氓公司撤退了，也通过对我自己的某些修正，确保了争执不再出现。还有几次，我不得不采取法律的手段捍卫自己的权益。我可以高兴地告诉你们，每一次，我都取得了胜利。

　　维护我自己的权利已经变得非常重要。

　　我知道，如果我没有站起来对抗这些流氓公司，Go Daddy集团就不会有今天的成就，也就无法跻身于世界一流的注册商之列。

　　别让任何人控制你。

　　我给你的建议就是：不要让任何人控制你。首先，尽量缓和事态。如果你做不到这点，就站起来，捍卫你自己！

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